


Yes, you're human

by Bibanana



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Drunken Confessions, Drunken Kissing, Fluff and Angst, Inspired By Tumblr, M/M, The Stag Night Fix-It (Sherlock: The Sign of Three), Tumblr Prompt, my own version of stag night, not really a fix-it though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:22:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25341631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bibanana/pseuds/Bibanana
Summary: “Nice?”“Ish,”“Clever?”“I’d say so.”He would, wouldn’t he? Well, that certainly narrowed things down. John was a man of heart, he’d be more likely to compliment people he’s close to, people he cares about, and less likely to call someone he doesn’t like clever, even if they are clever.~~~A rewrite of stag night. It was going to be a fix-it, but I'm bad at fixing things.
Relationships: Mary Morstan/John Watson, Sherlock Holmes & John Watson, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Comments: 13
Kudos: 34





	Yes, you're human

**Author's Note:**

> This was prompted to me on Tumblr by the amazing [johnlockelephant](https://johnlockelephant.tumblr.com/)
> 
> [Here is the original prompt](https://consultingravenclaw221b.tumblr.com/post/623874291950305280/you-could-write-a-different-stag-night-because)
> 
> Just a little disclaimer: I wrote this from 1:30-2:30 AM like an idiot. (though I did do my best to edit it in the morning)

“Am I human?” Sherlock stumbled over his words, focusing hard on getting them out in the correct order. His thoughts were jumbled, his tongue out of sync with his brain. He really didn’t like this at all.

“Sometimes.” John took a sip of scotch. Quite a large sip, Sherlock noted. That meant… something. The way he clutched the glass, swallowed the golden liquid, almost frantically. Sherlock  _ knew _ there was a deduction to be made there, if only he could think straight.

Sherlock leaned forward, looking John directly in the eyes. “You can’t have sometimes, it has to be,” he gestured vaguely, unable to finish his sentence.

John leaned back in return, his legs spread open. “Yes, you’re human.”

“Yes, I know.” Sherlock chose his next words with as much precision as he could muster, with his brain in such a fog. “Am I a man?”

John confirmed that yes, he was, or at least the paper on forehead, was a man. When he said this, Sherlock wanted to scream. His tone sounded almost  _ disappointed _ . These were all pieces of a puzzle, the detective was sure of it. If only he were sober, he would be able connect them.  _ Why _ could John  _ possibly _ be disappointed that the person taped to Sherlock’s face was male?

“Nice?”

“Ish,”

“Clever?”

“I’d say so.”

He would, wouldn’t he? Well, that certainly narrowed things down. John was a man of heart, he’d be more likely to compliment people he’s close to, people he cares about, and less likely to call someone he doesn’t like clever, even if they are clever.

“Am I important?” Sherlock inquired, knowing that if John followed that pattern, important would mean important to him, rather than politically or powerfully.

“Ah,” John hesitated, as if unsure how to answer. “To some people.”

Interesting. People. Too general a term Who’s people? Which people? How many people? “Do  _ ‘people’ _ like me?” Sherlock asked mockingly.

“Yeah. Yeah, they do. The people that you’re important to, they like you despite all your bullshit.” John’s voice became soft all of a sudden and Sherlock desperately needed to know who the said ‘people’ were. From the tone of John’s voice, it sounded like a very specific group of people, probably very small.

Oh.  _ Oh. _ Important, but not to many, not very nice, but clever? “Am I the current prime minister of America?”

John released a rough laugh. “You know they don’t call it that.”

“No?”

“No!” John grinned. “It’s a president… for some reason. And, no you’re not their  _ president _ .”

“Oh. Okay.” Sherlock fell backwards in defeat. “Your go.”

John scooted to the edge of his seat, then lost his balance slightly. He gripped Sherlock’s knee tightly to steady himself, then squeezed a little tighter, the corner of his mouth pulling upwards. His hand moved forward, onto Sherlock’s thigh still squeezing. He raised an eyebrow, feeling the muscles of his friend’s leg. He then glanced up at Sherlock, as if asking permission.

“I don’t mind.” Sherlock mumbled, shrugging.

John smiled but sat back in his seat anyway. “Am I a woman?”

“You? Or the… thing.” Sherlock snorted, amused with himself.

John sighed and motioned up at the paper. “This.”

“Yes, it’s a woman.”

“Am I pretty?”

The question sounded more sincere than the previous ones so Sherlock answered it sincerely. His eyes moved from John’s blond hair, to his stormy blue eyes, across his pink lips, and over his chest which, though currently concealed by a shirt, Sherlock suspected had a wide array of muscles hidden underneath. For the briefest moment, Sherlock imagined taking that shirt off, taking it off with his own hands.

“Yes, you’re very pretty.” He said honestly and Sherlock would have sworn he saw John blush, just the faintest bit.

“Sherlock?” John whispered, eyelids drooping. “I don’t think I’m completely, 100% heterosexual.” He slurred the last word a bit, unable to make out all seven syllables. 

“Hmm?” Sherlock’s eyes widened in surprise. So  _ that’s _ what the hidden deduction was. “Neither am I.”

“Oh? Are you gay?” 

Sherlock couldn’t help but detect a tinge of hope in John’s voice. “Something like that, yes. Are you?”

“Not… gay. But not straight either. I dunno.” John huffed. “Promise you won’t tell Mary?”

Sherlock giggled. “I can’t even promise I’ll remember in the morning.”

John laughed but recovered quickly. “If you won’t remember in the morning… Sherlock do you want to kiss me?”

Sherlock gaped.  _ YES! _ Not trusting himself to speak he nodded quickly. He had always wanted this, ever since John first moved in.

Sherlock watched in a daze as John leaned forward, taking Sherlock’s hands in his own. Their faces were so close, now, their lips just an inch apart. Sherlock closed his eyes, a shiver running down his spine.

But the moment John’s mouth was on his, he pulled away.

Sherlock stared down at the floor, unable to meet John’s gaze.

“What’s wrong?” John asked quietly, sounding a little hurt.

“This. This is wrong. We’re intoxicated and Mary is waiting for you at your home and you’re getting married-” Sherlock cut off, breathing heavily. “You should go.”

John stood up slowly, wobbling a little on his feet. He grabbed his coat and exited the flat without saying another word.

Sherlock squeezed his eyes shut, hot tears rolling down his cheeks, and wondered how they could possibly go back to the way things were.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks taking the time to read this, I certainly hope it was worth it. Have an amazing day!
> 
> [Come say hi on Tumblr if you feel so inclined! ;)](https://consultingravenclaw221b.tumblr.com/)


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